C++ and classes
Jarvis, Robert P. (Contingent)
Jarvisb at timken.com
Wed Sep 13 15:41:39 UTC 2000
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Peter Novak [mailto:pno at whitestein.com]
> Sent: Wednesday, September 13, 2000 10:02 AM
>
> Hi,
> I found this in Wrox Press C++ Tutorial to Visual C++. Nice...
>
> Peter.
>
> ----------------
> START OF CITE
> The notion of class was invented by an Englishman to keep the general
> population happy. It derives from the theory that people who
> knew their place and function in society would be much more secure
> and comfortable in life than those who did not. The famous Dane,
> Bjarne Stroustrup, who invented C++, undoubtedly acquired a deep
> knowledge of class concepts while at Cambridge University in England,
> and appropriated the idea very successfully for use in his new
> language.
> END OF CITE
A perfect example of the "I don't know the facts so I'll make them up as I
go" school of writing. <snort!> I have this sort of Monty Python-esque
skit playing in my head...let's listen in...
Individual #1: Hail and good morrow, friend!
Individual #2: An' to you as well, friend.
Individual #1: Say, do you happen to know your place and function
in society?
Individual #2: Hrrmmm... Welll, Oi, 'adn't really given it
much thought, meself, but now as you mention
it,
no, Oi can't say as Oi do.
Individual #1: And don't you find that a bit disturbing?
Individual #2: Disturbing, you say? 'ow's that?
Individual #1: Wellllll, if you don't know your place and function
in society there's no telling the kinds of
trouble
you might find yourself in. For example, if
you
were to be invited to a fancy dress party
what
would you wear, eh?
Individual #2: <scratches head> Oi think Oi see summat of what
you mean...
Individual #1: Preeee-cisely! And that is why I have invented
the new concept of class!
Individual #2: Class?
Individual #1: Yes. You see, if each of us is a member of or, if
you like, *has* a class, then each and every
one
of us will know his or her or (in rare cases
involving work as a harem guard) its own
place
in society, thus allowing us all to function
together as a cohesive unit, subdividing
responsibilities equitably amongst everyone
and
ensuring that all necessary tasks are
completed
by those with the greatest level of
expertise.
Individual #2: Oi see...<scratches head again, looks puzzled>
Individual #1: Stout fellow! <pulls out small notebook> Now,
let's see here - what sort of work have you
been performing of late?
Individual #2: Well, lately Oi've been planting a bit of barley,
chopping some wood...
Individual #1: Yes, I see...
Individual #2: ...and then there's always the slopping of the
pigs...
Individual #1: Slopping of pigs...yes, go on...
Individual #2: ...and Oi've been doing quite a bit of mucking out
the barn, as well...Oi'm quite proud of
that, and
the cows seem to like it...
Individual #1: Ah-ha! It would seem, then, that your class should
be "peasant"!
Individual #2: "Peasant"? Is that all you've got available?
Individual #1: I'm afraid so...
Individual #2: Not even a "thrall" or "churl", or maybe a nice bit
of "serf"?
Individual #1: Well, I suppose we could manage a "thrall" or
"serf",
if you like...but those are going to be
phased out
in a few hundred years...
Individual #2: Oi see... Well, if there's no future in those other
thingies...
Individual #1: Classes...
Individual #2: Roight, classes...Oi guess I'll go with "peasant".
Individual #1: *Very* good! Now, don't you feel better?
Peasant: Can't really say as Oi do, exactly...
Individual #1: Well, I'm sure it will grow on you...
Peasant: Say, what class will *you* be having, then?
Individual #1: <consults notebook> <sigh> It looks like the only
class with openings is..."King".
Peasant: "King"?
King: Yes, 'fraid so...
Peasant: That certainly sounds a bit of all right to
me...
King: Oh, I don't know...there's all those fancy dress
parties to go to...ogling the canapes all
night...
gnawing on the serving wenches...
Peasant: Oi think Oi could get used to that!
King: Still, I suppose someone has to do it, and I
wouldn't
want to leave it to some poor unfortunate...
I'll
do it!
Peasant: Good on you, your kingshipness!
King: Thank you. Well, I'm off to do more kinging! You
just get on with your peasanting, all right?
Peasant: Thank 'ee, sir, thank 'ee...
King: By the way, have I mentioned my other interesting
idea..?
Peasant: Other idea..?
King: Yes, it sounds like just oodles of fun.
Peasant: Oh..?
King: Yes. It's called, "taxes"...
:-)
Bob Jarvis
Compuware @ Timken
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