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<p>Ron,</p>
<p>So you remember? I was seemly in a state of some shock, my
responses were not robust, as they would be. I interviewed in a
wooden manner. I was on guard and not at all relaxed. My eyes may
have been glassy, though not from any drug. I was easily startled.
<br/>
</p>
<p>All of my behavior mentioned above is due to what is known in my
circles as amygdala hijacking. That super sensitive deception
meter, I mentioned before? It was pegging the needle. I WAS UNDER
PROXIMATE THREAT! ALARM! ALARM! ALARM! Where is the threat? I do
not know! <br/>
</p>
<p>Hindsight is crystal.</p>
<p>I have enjoyed having worked with you and on this beautiful
environment we all hold dear. I wish y'all to be best blessed, be
happy & healthy. Oh yes! Here is what's up with the
coronavirus pandemic!</p>
<img moz-do-not-send="false" src="cid:part1.F5B874B6.4EBDD297@pm.me" alt="" width="657" height="581"/>
<p>K, r<br/>
</p>
<div class="moz-cite-prefix">On 10/1/20 11:48 PM, Robert Withers
wrote:<br/>
</div>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:b2bdc254-2041-afb0-b311-00329b0230d6@pm.me">
<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8"/>
<p>Do you recall my interviewing with Andreas? I did <i><b>NOT
NOT NOT NADA ZILCH NOTHING TO SEE HERE</b></i> <i><b>ZERO
TIME FOR YOU</b></i> get that job, for whatever reason...</p>
<div class="moz-cite-prefix">On 10/1/20 11:46 PM, Robert Withers
wrote:<br/>
</div>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:e99e7945-c0f0-56ae-9e0e-bed3506288a3@pm.me">
<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html;
charset=UTF-8"/>
<p>Hi Ron,</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the kind words and the extension of
your hand towards myself. In no fashion has it been all bad. I
really need to tell you, right now, that I did not do any work
on VMMaker. Was there extensions to same from the VMMakerTool?
Perhaps, I do not recall. I only built the Tool, not the
Maker. Good grief, I agree, that's a whole other level! <br/>
</p>
<p>I feel the same about the opportunities I had with you. I am
still dorking with ASN1, currently broken, trying to add a
"Class" Application Class tag. Missing an explicit context in
on of the directions. Memory and Trauma are definitely linked.
That's where the flashbacks come from. Do you recall my
interviewing with Andreas? I did <i><b>NOT NOT NOT NADA ZILCH
NOTHING TO SEE HERE</b></i> get that job, for whatever
reason...</p>
<p>I think I may be done. PromisesLocal is broken. ParrotTalk is
broken. ASN1 is broken. SSL is broken. PromisesRemote is
broken. Sigh. Fuck it. Someone else will have to pick it up.
20 years of work! I am hitting deep blue ocean, on my way to
Morocco, by way of the Azores! With my shiny Zeus 3! Ciao,
bella!<br/>
</p>
<p><img moz-do-not-send="false" src="cid:part2.1F87945B.3EE99EAB@pm.me" alt="" class="" width="600" height="402"/></p>
<br/>
<div class="moz-cite-prefix">On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum
wrote:<br/>
</div>
<blockquote type="cite" cite="mid:CAEzdQ-fieKYsWbytuYLmyNP+H4hdHKmBOvRPaorSESzUHzF5eQ@mail.gmail.com">
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<div dir="ltr">
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">Hi Rob,</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">I'm so
sorry you felt that way. I know you have had major
issues, you have said the same yourself. I'm always happy
to see you come back even after long absences. You are a
brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to
work with you on Cryptography! Thank you for all you have
done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant
value to Squeak and the community. </div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">We all
work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on
something to make it work and forget where it originated.
We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.
If you started VMMaker thank you! It is definitely
something a lot of us use. I remember learning all about
it a long long time ago before I realized that while I
could understand it and I could use it, the people that
work on the VM are a level higher than me. I just make
apps!</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">I
remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding
methods to collection. "WE DON"T NEED more methods in
Collection we need to remove most of them and make it
easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over
but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value. I
could have been put off. I could have assumed that
Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!
I was really honored to get the chance to work with him
and we became great friends. Of course I added my methods
to the code we were working on together and was so
thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="">I don't know what
happened with VMMaker but again thank you for
your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to
thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor
to work with you too! I hope that you can come to terms
with your past and that you get the help you need for your
CPTSD. </div>
<div class="gmail_default" style=""><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="">Everything is possible,
the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.
I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and
slips. I was talking to my wife about a party we
attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and
counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and
killed the lights! We were all talking about what would
happen in the year 2000, would everything break!" Great
story except that I hadn't met my wife yet! The past is
only what we remember but the future is something we have
control over. Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard
to come by but they are possible. I wish you success in
finding what makes your future better.</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style=""><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="">I'm sorry about the bad
things that have happened to you in the past. As far as
I'm concerned, you are welcomed here! </div>
<div class="gmail_default" style=""><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="">All the best,</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style=""><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="">Ron Teitelbaum </div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br/>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br/>
</div>
</div>
<br/>
<div class="gmail_quote">
<div dir="ltr" class="gmail_attr">On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at
10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <<a href="mailto:squeak-dev@lists.squeakfoundation.org" moz-do-not-send="true">squeak-dev@lists.squeakfoundation.org</a>>
wrote:<br/>
</div>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px
0.8ex;border-left:1px solid
rgb(204,204,204);padding-left:1ex">
<div>
<p>:sob::sob::sob:<br/>
</p>
<div>On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:<br/>
</div>
<blockquote type="cite">
<p>I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">What
a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this
month, published it as his own work. And been
against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran
service-connected) comes with an exquisitely
sensitive deception meter. There are those who
shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel
MOST UNWELCOME. For 20 years. My delusions kick
in and I start suspecting back channel
communications against me. My love for Squeak
conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I
hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work
with a group of great people and that I am
satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20
years I KNEW people were against me in the
community. I cannot describe how negatively this
affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I
jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment
building and broke my back along with many
bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I
lived. This deception and ostracism is most well
highlighted by the taking credit for my work,
without attribution. He is a complete tool.
SHAME!</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline"><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">I
do not know the degree to which he spoke
against me. I<span> </span></span><b style="box-sizing:inherit;color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial">imagine</b><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline"><span> </span>it
was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real?
I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do
not welcome me! They are trying to chase me
off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">Severely
exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill
myself because of it! I thought I had done
something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it
had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love,
even from myself.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">:scream:<br/>
</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">:scream:</span></p>
<p><br/>
<span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline"><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">In
2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood
glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that
time.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline"><span style="color:rgb(29,28,29);font-family:Slack-Lato,appleLogo,sans-serif;font-size:15px;font-style:normal;font-variant-ligatures:common-ligatures;font-variant-caps:normal;font-weight:400;letter-spacing:normal;text-align:left;text-indent:0px;text-transform:none;white-space:normal;word-spacing:0px;background-color:rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration-style:initial;text-decoration-color:initial;float:none;display:inline">:scream:<br/>
</span></span></p>
</blockquote>
<p>rww<br/>
</p>
<div>On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:<br/>
</div>
<blockquote type="cite">
<pre>The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?
You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.
If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.
rww
On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:
</pre>
<blockquote type="cite">
<blockquote type="cite">
<pre>On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <a href="mailto:squeak-dev@lists.squeakfoundation.org" target="_blank" moz-do-not-send="true"><squeak-dev@lists.squeakfoundation.org></a> wrote:
I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?
</pre>
</blockquote>
<pre>That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.
tim
--
tim Rowledge; <a href="mailto:tim@rowledge.org" target="_blank" moz-do-not-send="true">tim@rowledge.org</a>; <a href="http://www.rowledge.org/tim" target="_blank" moz-do-not-send="true">http://www.rowledge.org/tim</a>
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.
</pre>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<div>-- <br/>
K, r<br/>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div>-- <br/>
K, r<br/>
</div>
</div>
<br/>
</blockquote>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div class="moz-signature">-- <br/>
K, r<br/>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div class="moz-signature">-- <br/>
K, r<br/>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div class="moz-signature">-- <br/>
K, r<br/>
</div>
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