You're right - the Digiscents thing is much funnier...  :-)

Bob Jarvis
Compuware @ Timken

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Todd Blanchard [SMTP:tblanchard at etranslate.com]
> Sent:	Friday, November 12, 1999 2:56 PM
> To:	squeak at cs.uiuc.edu
> Subject:	Re: [SPOOF] RE: Names of Squeaky Things
> 
> Not funny. Its been done.
> 
> http://www.digiscents.com/
> http://www.wired.com/news/ebiz/0,1272,31909,00.html
> 
> 
> 
> "Jarvis, Robert P." <Jarvisb at timken.com> wrote:
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From:	Dan Ingalls [SMTP:Dan.Ingalls at disney.com]
> > > Sent:	Friday, November 12, 1999 1:11 PM
> > > To:	John-Reed Maffeo
> > > Subject:	Re: Names of Squeaky Things
> > > 
> > 	<snip!>
> > > At least it doesn't smell funny ;-).
> > > 
> > > 
> > Funny you should say that...
> > 
> > Redmond, WA (Royters) - Despite the recent adverse decision in their
> > anti-trust trial, Microsoft continues to release exciting new
> technologies.
> > Today Microsoft announced that members of their research team have made
> a
> > breakthrough which will make computer-generated scents a practical
> reality.
> > "We think this will make computing more fun and accessible for everyone"
> > bubbled Microsoft chief Bill Gates at today's announcement.  "We want it
> to
> > be in every home, in every office, in every school.  We've committed a
> lot
> > of resource to this, and will promote it as an industry standard".  The
> new
> > technology, known as ActiveXent (active scent), allows a computer to
> > generate smells using a new device, similar to an inkjet printer, and
> > special software provided by Microsoft.  The company expects to
> integrate
> > the new technology into its operating systems by mid-2000.  "We'll
> release
> > it as an add-on for Windows 2000", said Gates.  "We expect it to improve
> and
> > enhance your computer-use experience in new and exciting ways".
> > 
> > The two researchers who developed the technology, Jason "Brain Damage"
> > Oblonsky and Erno "Wired Man" Schmutz, said that the idea came to them
> after
> > a late night of "hard work" at Microsoft Research.  "We'd dropped some
> acid
> > earlier in the evening and were enjoying the smells coming from the mood
> > lighting in the hallway when one of the potted plants suggested that we
> > should see how the inkjet ink sounded.  We noticed some of the colors
> > sounded interesting, kind of like, you know, Led Zeppelin playing
> Nirvana at
> > triple speed with Madonna doing the vocals.  But it was the music that
> > smelled really good.  So, after we crashed, we tried to figure out how
> to
> > reproduce the effect without chemical augmentation".
> > 
> > The ActiveXent device resembles a small printer, but without paper.  A
> > Microsoft spokesman explained, "What you do it put three cartridges into
> it,
> > similar in size to an inkjet printer cartridge, which contain the basic
> > smell components.  By releasing these smell components in proper
> proportions
> > any smell can be generated.  You want apple pie?  You got it.  You want
> > chocolate?  You got it.  You want roadkilled skunk?  You got it!".
> > 
> > Industry reactions were mixed.  Pundit Seymour Katt said, "I think this
> will
> > propel Microsoft to ever higher sales.  They've got the other guys over
> a
> > barrel, and they know it".  Sun Microsystems CEO Scott MacNealy,
> however,
> > had another view.  "This whole thing stinks to high heaven.  Our team
> has a
> > much better computer scent technology, known internally as Javaroma,
> which
> > is networkable, broadly compatible, and can be used with any browser.
> We
> > expect to release this in the near future, as soon as the we can gas up
> the
> > HypeMobile and get it rolling again".
> > 
> > In a related story, Redmond police announced today that they had raided
> > Microsoft's campus and confiscated 14,000 "hits" of LSD, along with
> large
> > stocks of mescaline, PCP, and "angel dust".  "This really explains a
> lot",
> > said a police spokesman, referring to bugs and problems in Microsoft's
> > products.  "We figure that the testers were so wasted that *everything*
> > looked like a bug to them, so after a while they just figured it was all
> > normal".  A Microsoft spokesman said, in part, "...after a while stock
> > options just don't cut it anymore, so we had to come up with some
> 'lunatic
> > fringe' benefits".
> > 
> > :-)
> > 
> > Bob Jarvis
> > Compuware @ Timken
> > 
> > 
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