Not funny. Its been done.

http://www.digiscents.com/
http://www.wired.com/news/ebiz/0,1272,31909,00.html



"Jarvis, Robert P." <Jarvisb at timken.com> wrote:
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From:	Dan Ingalls [SMTP:Dan.Ingalls at disney.com]
> > Sent:	Friday, November 12, 1999 1:11 PM
> > To:	John-Reed Maffeo
> > Subject:	Re: Names of Squeaky Things
> > 
> 	<snip!>
> > At least it doesn't smell funny ;-).
> > 
> > 
> Funny you should say that...
> 
> Redmond, WA (Royters) - Despite the recent adverse decision in their
> anti-trust trial, Microsoft continues to release exciting new technologies.
> Today Microsoft announced that members of their research team have made a
> breakthrough which will make computer-generated scents a practical reality.
> "We think this will make computing more fun and accessible for everyone"
> bubbled Microsoft chief Bill Gates at today's announcement.  "We want it to
> be in every home, in every office, in every school.  We've committed a lot
> of resource to this, and will promote it as an industry standard".  The new
> technology, known as ActiveXent (active scent), allows a computer to
> generate smells using a new device, similar to an inkjet printer, and
> special software provided by Microsoft.  The company expects to integrate
> the new technology into its operating systems by mid-2000.  "We'll release
> it as an add-on for Windows 2000", said Gates.  "We expect it to improve and
> enhance your computer-use experience in new and exciting ways".
> 
> The two researchers who developed the technology, Jason "Brain Damage"
> Oblonsky and Erno "Wired Man" Schmutz, said that the idea came to them after
> a late night of "hard work" at Microsoft Research.  "We'd dropped some acid
> earlier in the evening and were enjoying the smells coming from the mood
> lighting in the hallway when one of the potted plants suggested that we
> should see how the inkjet ink sounded.  We noticed some of the colors
> sounded interesting, kind of like, you know, Led Zeppelin playing Nirvana at
> triple speed with Madonna doing the vocals.  But it was the music that
> smelled really good.  So, after we crashed, we tried to figure out how to
> reproduce the effect without chemical augmentation".
> 
> The ActiveXent device resembles a small printer, but without paper.  A
> Microsoft spokesman explained, "What you do it put three cartridges into it,
> similar in size to an inkjet printer cartridge, which contain the basic
> smell components.  By releasing these smell components in proper proportions
> any smell can be generated.  You want apple pie?  You got it.  You want
> chocolate?  You got it.  You want roadkilled skunk?  You got it!".
> 
> Industry reactions were mixed.  Pundit Seymour Katt said, "I think this will
> propel Microsoft to ever higher sales.  They've got the other guys over a
> barrel, and they know it".  Sun Microsystems CEO Scott MacNealy, however,
> had another view.  "This whole thing stinks to high heaven.  Our team has a
> much better computer scent technology, known internally as Javaroma, which
> is networkable, broadly compatible, and can be used with any browser.  We
> expect to release this in the near future, as soon as the we can gas up the
> HypeMobile and get it rolling again".
> 
> In a related story, Redmond police announced today that they had raided
> Microsoft's campus and confiscated 14,000 "hits" of LSD, along with large
> stocks of mescaline, PCP, and "angel dust".  "This really explains a lot",
> said a police spokesman, referring to bugs and problems in Microsoft's
> products.  "We figure that the testers were so wasted that *everything*
> looked like a bug to them, so after a while they just figured it was all
> normal".  A Microsoft spokesman said, in part, "...after a while stock
> options just don't cut it anymore, so we had to come up with some 'lunatic
> fringe' benefits".
> 
> :-)
> 
> Bob Jarvis
> Compuware @ Timken
> 
> 
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