[Squeakfoundation]3.4 press release

[Doug Way]

On Thursday, March 6, 2003, at 04:40 PM, Cees de Groot wrote:

 > On March 3rd, Squeak 3.4 was released. This release presents ...

I might change this to March 5th, which was the day that squeak.org was 
updated.  I'd consider this more the "official" release date, since 
that's the day it was made available on the public website, complete 
with bundled VMs, etc.

 > ... and will be successful without the stewardship of corporations 
like
 > Apple and Disney, who largely sponsored development so far.

Maybe change the last bit to: "who have largely sponsored its 
development so far."

(just a minor change to make the language sound a little more formal)

 > Squeak is a personal multimedia environment aimed at end-users
 > (including children), developers, authors, and teachers. ...

Although I'm guilty of overusing parentheses in my emails, I wonder if 
the very first sentence of the official blurb would flow better without 
any parentheses.  Maybe something like "Squeak is a personal multimedia 
environment aimed at end-users
of all ages, developers, authors, and teachers."

- Doug Way