[Vm-dev] ptsd rage

[Robert Withers]

Well, my paranoia is kicking. I spoke too broadly of police, I have 
interacted with many and they do a lot of good. A bad apple spoils the 
whatever and their code of silence allows for that sort of rot. I tell 
it straight, because they monitor the list. I pissed them off! Do you 
think it passed the sanity test that cops run all street drugs with 
their felon database in hand? Damn! All those Fellas are going to turn 
and bite their masters' hand, you watch! Stacking these grown men like 
Twinkies in overcrowded prisons. There is a debt that needs to be paid 
and the righteous are those in prison on a bunch of bullshit paper.  
Vive la revolucion! Ok, sorry I went political. I am done.


On 12/17/2016 9:49 PM, Robert Withers wrote:
>
> I am sad with you in your diagnosis. I get that too, the blues. I get 
> high if I am holding and listen to "Kind of Blue" or deep house or 
> reggae.  Some X would be good, but herbage is my mainstay to drop my 
> constant threat mode (hypervigilence). I do not want a repeat of what 
> happened! Unfortunately I drive people away to make sure of that. I 
> appreciate your alls kindness. I wanted to share a solid explanation 
> of why I am such a dick at times. I flip to active threat mode, I 
> struggle to control this. It doesn't help that the police have been 
> stalking me for 2 years, I am all caught up in their noise. Don't 
> believe a word of their truthfulness. The blue wall of silence breaks 
> God's commandment thou shalt not bear false witness. Police violate 
> that daily, protecting their brothers who shoot unarmed black men in 
> the back and claim they are fearing for their lives. Really? No, 
> really? Well, that is a different story. That just freaking triggers 
> me. And my opinion makes me their target. At least in my C-PTSD 
> befuddled mind.
>
> Be well all!
>
> On 12/17/2016 2:27 PM, Dimitris Chloupis wrote:
>>   
>>
>>
>> What rage ? I have not noticed anything, in any case I wish you the 
>> best :)
>>
>> I am also suffering from "dysthymia" which is actually the opposite 
>> of what you have
>>
>> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia
>>
>> still is no fun and its very difficult to explain to others but I see 
>> a psychiatrist for over a year now and I have seen a lot of improvement.
>>
>> On Sat, Dec 17, 2016 at 3:57 AM Robert Withers 
>> <robert.w.withers at gmail.com <mailto:robert.w.withers at gmail.com>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>     I need to apologize for all my dread behavior. Here is the
>>     reason, and I
>>     am on service-connected disability. Current diagnosis is Complex
>>     PTSD.
>>     Sorry about all my sturm und drang.
>>
>>     http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/problems/anger-and-trauma.asp
>>
>>
>>     Sincerely,
>>
>>     Robert
>>
>

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