[Webteam] 2nd Draft of About section

[Brad Fuller]

Larry Trutter wrote:
> The latest version of the draft is now at 
> http://wwwtest.squeak.org/About/ .
> All the links are there and tested. Feel free to double-check.
> 
> I'm not completely happy with the Dynabook paragraph - I think it might 
> need some more work.
> 
> Let me know if any more improvements are needed!

some grammar:

--

Squeak is *A* highly portable, open-source Smalltalk with powerful 
multimedia facilities. Squeak is the vehicle *FOR* a wide range of 
projects from educational platforms to commercial web application 
development.

--
Needs a space between CE(it:

including Windows NT, XP, Windows CE(it runs on the Cassiopeia and the 
HP320LX),

---
How about combining the next two paragraphs and also fix the grammar. 
Something like:

Squeak is used extensively to enhance and amplify learning by utilizing 
new ways to reach children with powerful ideas about math and science. 
One successful environment, Etoys, enables children to learn by 
building, playing and simulating the physical world around them. Etoys 
extends the experience via a simple and powerful user interface that 
allows children to author and access all things around them.

---
Maybe put "What it is not" at the very end of the page?

---
Philosophy

I think this statement:

"The fundamental philosophy of Squeak is to write everything in Smalltalk"

Is a developer's reaction to a more fundamental philosophical position:

"Smalltalk allows users authoring and access to all things."

The more basic smalltalk philosophy would be better here rather than a
developer's perspective. I could amplify on this, if you'd like.


---
Squeak Support

This statement is rather strong here:
"Official standards and product support are the enemies of change. Next 
to universal access, malleability is the prime figure of merit for 
Squeak. It is our intention for Squeak to evolve."

It even makes it sound like there is no support structure for Squeak. 
And,that isn't so. Standards are not a bad thing, either. I don't have 
an option here, though. I just think it would be better if this wasn't 
so strong. Maybe start the paragraph off with something like:

"One of the strengths of Squeak is that it continually evolves"


I think the next sentences need to be refuted. Since it is not, it 
sounds like a statement is being made that Squeak, indeed, is dependent 
on the whims of a couple of users:

"Some people feel tentative about using a system that appears to be 
dependent on the whimsical enthusiasm of a couple of wizards. Who could 
make product plans upon such shifting sands?"

Maybe add something to put people's minds at ease. Something like:
"The Squeak developer community is dedicated, diverse and highly 
experienced. Squeak continues to evolve... blah... etc..."
Then begin with "Each Squeak release includes everything..."

Then end with:

"Controlling your personal destiny is a fundamental philosophy of Squeak 
and.... etc."

And tie this to the Philosophy section.

Alternatively, you could eliminate the Squeak Support section and 
include these ideas in the Philosophy section.