[Webteam] 2nd Draft of About section

[Brad Fuller]

Looks good. A few comments:


These could be merge, or better, the first sentence can be removed.
---

Squeak is used as a tool for research on how computers can enhance and 
amplify learning; specifically, work in using computers to find new ways 
to reach children with powerful ideas of math and science.

Squeak is used to enhance and amplify learning by utilizing new ways to 
teach children powerful ideas about math and science. One successful 
environment, Etoys <http://www.squeakland.org/whatis/tutorials.html>, 
enables children to learn by building, playing and simulating the 
physical world. Etoys extends the experience via a simple and powerful 
user interface that allows children to author and access everything 
around them.
----
add "the"

or the creation of advanced dynamic web sites using the highly

---

The only problem with this is that "image" has not been defined yet.

"Squeak runs bit-identical images across it"

---

Maybe change:
All of this has attracted many of the best and most experienced 
Smalltalk programmers and implementers in the world.
to
Their work has attracted many of the best and most experienced Smalltalk 
programmers and implementers in the world.

---

Change:
Smalltalk is invented to
to
Smalltalk was invented to implement the Dynabook 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynabook> and was conceived

However, I don't think this is necessarily true. I realize Alan had 
dynabook in mind, but I don't know if Smalltalk was invented for the 
dynabook.

----

Should we add licensing info here? I'm wondering if we should leave it 
out. It is changing and if people need to read the license, they can do 
so by taking the link on the left side of the site. That way we don't 
have to update the license info in several places.

What do others think?


Larry Trutter wrote:
>> From: Brad Fuller <brad at bradfuller.com>
>> To: webteam at lists.squeakfoundation.org
>> Subject: Re: [Webteam] 2nd Draft of About section
>> Date: Mon, 05 Feb 2007 08:04:14 -0800
>>
>> Göran Krampe wrote:
>>> - I was more wondering why "my" text was not being reused in the About
>>> page, since it in many parts was an improved version of the original
>>> Dan-text.
>>
>> The goal was to take the front page text and appropriately add 
>> it/merge it to the "About" page. That is tough because both had great 
>> text but in different formats.
>
> I agree since the entire task is tougher than I anticipated.
>
> I made an attempt to merge Goran's text with the older text while 
> trying to not lose the important points about Squeak. Hopefully, my 
> perception of Squeak's important points didn't deviate much from 
> everyone else's.
>
> Also, I simplified the Platform support paragraph.
>
> And I moved the "Squeak runs bit-identical" paragraph back to "What's 
> Cool" section about Squeak because that is still cool! :)
>
> Check out http://wwwtest.squeak.org/About/ . Hopefully, I didn't make 
> things worse.
>
> -Larry Trutter
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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-- 
brad fuller
www.bradfuller.com
+1 (408) 799-6124